Tonight on Gossip Girl: It’s a couples spree! Chuck and Blair are in a bit of a dry spell thanks to Chuck’s newly found business ethic. Carter and Serena are officially “dating,” which means walking aimlessly around together and kissing on street corners. Vanessa and Scott are heating up and really getting close, even though she still doesn’t know his real name, why he came to New York, or that he isn’t even a student. (Which begs the question: where, exactly, does Scott live? Is he in a fake dorm, too?) And then there’s Dan and Georgina: putting a smelly sock on the door handle in an apt metaphor for the smelly mess they seem to think is a relationship, or at the very least, a “friends with benefits” situation.

Blair walks in on a shirtless Dan and stoned Georgina (I assume. Because her eyes are half-closed and she’s talking slowly. Not exactly symptoms of a raging libido.) about to bump uglies, and kicks Dan out into the hall, where he runs into Serena. And Vanessa. His two beards vow to taunt him endlessly for hooking up with Georgie. Vanessa is just thankful it’s not Blair. Serena is just thankful it’s not her shame they’re discussing. For once.

Read the Best and Worst Quotes of Gossip Girl 3.03, “The Lost Boy.”

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